When I did Medifast for the first time, I was still living at home and my mom was on the program as well. It was just the two of us in the house, and of course Lizzie (our Chihuahua), and so it was very easy for us to stay on track and motivate each other. Each weekend we would set some time aside to cook for the week - we'd make muffins and cakes out of Medifast puddings and shakes and then cook up some tasty Lean and Greens to reheat throughout the week. We would compare our weekly ... well ... daily weigh-ins and the competitive, "Hahaa, I beat you," would constantly make each of us work harder to beat the other the next day. The situation was really perfect, and we both were very successful.

Now here I am. I'm no longer living at home, in an apartment with two people who are not on the program. There is off-plan food all over the apartment and the idea of doing it by myself made me somewhat nervous  in the beginning. But - as it turns out - I'm dong BETTER. Not really with the scale or anything like that, as I did great the first time too, but as far as my motivation and focus is concerned. Each day I wake up and can't wait to weigh myself - where as before there were days I kind of dreaded it. I spend all of my down time at work researching recipes and reading inspirational stories online, and these actions continue when I am home in the evening. Today I went shopping on my lunch break to pick up the ingredients to make a new Lean and Green tonight that I've never tried before - and I can't wait to go home and try it! My point is - it seems like my entire life has now become Medifast.

True, before when I was living at home I had some restrictions. I was working about an hour away from home, which translated into an hour and a half commute on the way home, so by the time I got home in the evening I just wanted to relax, not cook. I was still performing - so nine times out of ten I wouldn't even be able to go straight home. I knew more than three/four people in the city I was living in and so I would spend the majority of my weekends on the go. I guess I really didn't have time to be focused. I wonder ... would I have been this focused during my first round if I had had more time? Would I have picked up ingredients for new recipes if I had time during my work day to take a lunch break? Would I have cooked up a variety of delicious Lean and Greens if I didn't get home so close to midnight? Would I have spent my weekends planning and researching if I wasn't going to Ann Arbor, or Detroit, or Novi every chance I got? Or, is it something else...

Another Medifaster wrote a blog about finding his "place" and he suggested perhaps I had finally found mine. That got me thinking ... and I think he may be right! My weight, although annoying, hasn't held me back as much as I whine about. My health was never in jeopardy, I still had lots of friends and dated regularly, I was even able to land some pretty darn good roles in the theatre world, most of which are usually reserved for the skinny gals. Because of this, when things were going well, I didn't care about it. If I found a guy to date, I'd stop worrying about it. If I was wrapped up in a role, I'd stop worrying about it. If I was having a blast with family and friends, I'd stop worrying about it. And here I am, 24-years of "stop worrying about it" later, and I'm still overweight. So really, what does this all boil down to?

Maybe this time I'm finally in the right place to get this done for good. I'm a new city with a clean slate. I'm not dating, or performing, and refuse to do either until I reach goal. I don't have many friends in the city, and the small handful I do have (my two room mates, my friend Jason from Uptown, and another Medifaster from the Chicago suburbs) are all incredibly supportive of my need to focus and do whatever they can to help out. My job allows me the flexibility to not stress out on the job, or outside of the job, and to take time for myself throughout the day to think about what I need to think about. I also think this blog is a big tool as well - holding myself accountable to write, every day (well, at least every other day), about something Medifast, or at least weight-loss, related. It's always on my mind. Granted, I'm only two weeks in, but I feel so strong and so confident that this time will be the last time!

So, I guess I did find the right place. It's HERE. And it's NOW!