Recommitted

Day one, and so far so good. Luckily I was off work today, so I was able to get into the swing of things easily. I woke up a little earlier than I wanted to, but figured I may as well get started. Before I did anything else I decided to step on the dreaded scale. I knew the results were going to be hard to take, but I also knew that there is no where to go but down. *step* ... *step* ... 185 pounds. Yeah, that sounds about right. Over the last year since I stopped my first round of Medifast I really let myself go, especially these last few months since my move to Chicago. The number really didn't shock me, so I closed my eyes, took a breath, and stepped off knowing that I will never see that number again.

Breakfast time. To get things off to a yummy start I prepared some Chocolate Chip Pancakes. They didn't exactly turn out very presentable - in fact at one point I became very frustrated with how thin the batter was and almost tossed the whole bunch - but my desire to not waste food prevented me from having a melt down and I just cooked. They tasted great, and that's all that really matters.

As soon as I was done eating my pancakes I got a call from my mom, who had done Medifast last time around with me and recommitted today as well. She was calling to let me know that her first weigh-in was not a good one - 168 to be exact. My mom and I have always been about ten to fifteen pounds apart, with me on the higher end, due to height, muscle mass, and breast size, but our proportions have always been identical, with both of us needing to lose the same amount of weight. Irony definitely came out to play when it turned out that my mom gained back the exact amount of weight I did since our halt in January 2011. Knowing that both of us have a long journey ahead, we exchanged positive thoughts and sent each other off to finish the rest of day one.

Once our phone call ended, it was time for a nap. I somewhat wish I hadn't fallen asleep because the hour/hour-and-a-half I lost may effect me tomorrow once I gain it back - can't exactly take a nap at work. The rest of the day went by smoothly - after the pancakes came a Smore Crunch Bar, Parmesan Cheese Puffs, my Lean & Green (a grilled chicken salad), and a Brownie. I still have one meal left but I may not get it in as I should be hitting the hay fairly soon. I hate to already have an imperfect OP record, but which is worse - missing a meal or eating so close to bed? Both yield negative results, so I guess I'll base my decision on comfort for the moment.

I feel so relieved to be back on track. The last month waiting for the new year has been torture. Sure, I got to eat pizza and fast food. I got to drink with friends and make late-night runs to the diner down the street. I got to lounge around the apartment instead of going to the gym. But every night when I went to sleep, I felt awful. I felt fat, gluttonous, and horrible. But tonight, I think I'm going to go to sleep feeling refreshed, accomplished... and hopeful!