The Buddy System

Last night I met my first real-life Medifaster, aside from my mom. I first started talking to Kelsey during my first round of Medifast in Fall of 2010 on the MyMedifast boards. She was about my age, which was nice in a world where you are one of the younger members. When I fell off the wagon in January, she kept on going, coming within three pounds of her goal. One thing lead to another, bad choices were made, and she ended up gaining some of the weight back. Unlike me, however, she was smart enough to face the problem before she had returned to her original starting weight. Both of us back for round two, we reconnected on the boards when I posted a thread asking if there were any twenty-somethings in Chicagoland. A resident of the Chicago suburbs, she responded to my thread, we exchanged numbers, and made plans to meet up for dinner to discuss the plan. We each brought recipes we had collected and shared stories of successes, failures, frustrations, and hopes for the future. We chatted for about three hours, and it was great! Although both of my room mates are watching their weight (one losing and one maintaining) I feel somewhat outcasted in my apartment because I am on Medifast as opposed to just eating better (for the whole story, click here). It was refreshing to be sitting at a table with someone who not only knew what I was going through, but someone who was going through it themselves.

It's times like that when the importance of a Buddy System really kicks into my brain. Losing weight is all about finding inner empowerment and strength, and being able to make the journey alone. However, there are times you will lose your balance, you will slip, and you will fear the fall. These are the moments when having a buddy, or two, or three, or ten is so important. During my first round of Medifast I had my mom. We were living in the same house, cooking the same meals, sharing the same experiences. It was great to be able to share the journey with someone. When I moved to Chicago and then decided to get back on Medifast, I was scared. Although I knew my mom would be restarting herself, with two states between us how could we really support each other? We try - daily weigh in updates, exchanging recipes through email, pictures of successful and failed meals. Although we are doing our best, and I do think our interaction has helped, it's still difficult to keep positive about the program alone, especially because...

My two room mates, as I've said before, sometimes bring my spirits about Medifast down. I know they don't do it intentionally and they only want me to succeed, but I think they subconsciously disbelieve the possibilities for success with Medifast. I think they are somewhat closed off to the idea. Andrea once expressed interest in it and possibly going on herself, but hasn't brought it up since. Moise, being a Public Health grad student, I think has prejudices against anything that isn't a natural, count your calories type of thing. I think they both look at it as a fad diet, not as something that will help me in the long run. I constantly have to keep telling myself that I know the program works, and that's really all that matters. But sitting there with Kelsey I felt relief. I felt comfortable.

That's when I realized - it's not just about having people around you that are losing weight. You need people around you that believe in the way you are doing it. You could be living in a house with twenty people all trying to lose weight, but unless they are on the same plan you are on, following the same rules you are following, experiencing the same things you are experiencing ... it's just not the same. They will never understand. And it's not that they don't want to be supportive, and it's not that they don't want what's best for you. It's that they just don't understand. Hmm. I may be having an epiphany!

[begin tangent]

Maybe Moise and Andrea weren't trying to be insensitive. Maybe they weren't trying to make me feel like the plan won't work. Maybe it's just that they ... don't understand. Maybe our entire lives, people that have been doubting us and making us feel bad about our weight, or our struggles with weight ... maybe they just don't understand.

[/end tangent]

Anyway. Moving on. I'm really happy that Kelsey and I got along as well as we did. I am hoping the two of us can become great friends and help each other through this process. She has already agreed to cook some of the Medifast Lean and Green Cookbook recipes with me. It feels really nice to have someone like her under my wing - she knows the struggles I've been through, especially on Medifast (losing and regaining). She was able to recognize her mistakes with regaining far sooner than I was. She even got closer to goal than I did, which is a huge inspiration in and of itself. And this time, I think we can both succeed ... together!